Soylent Green is Peas!
Soylent Green is peas!
“Eat‘em!” Obama warns, “or we’ll rip the band aids off your scabs!”
Resist! What’s wrapped up in the genetic strains of those little round legumes? And why’s the government pushing peas all of a sudden?
It wasn’t all that long ago that our leaders warned us against the dangers of eating healthy. Bush the First prudently stated, “I don’t like broccoli,” then pounded the hell out of Iraq to prove the point. And Reagan subtly kept a jar of jelly beans on his desk. Coincidence? Ha! That practically screams, “BEWARE THE VEGTABLE-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.”
Back to the Soylent Green program. Soylent Green was a diabolical health care system that fed on the feeble, and elderly. In the famous documentary from the ‘70’s, Charleton Heston famously cried out, “Soylent Green is people!” Well, duh. How else do you expect the government to feed it’s social programs (and populace) without a little creative cannibalism? Eat your peas.
But what the hell’s that got to do with the debt crises, you ask? I’m not sure yet, but I swear to you that the homeless ranks are swelling (and being fattened). In Reno I saw a homeless gentleman toss bread to more geese than I could count. The next morning the line of homeless folks outnumbered the geese. In the Silicon Valley I stumbled into the closet space of a band of San Jose homeless (I nearly tossed coffee grounds onto sleeping bags and other living essentials stowed in the branches of shrubs).
Side note: Within hours of Obama telling us we must eat our peas, radio in the Reno area kept playing adds for SAM, Smart About Money. The website counsels us on how to manage our money responsibly (not making this up).
To be continued…
While our elected officials in Washington were playing with their food metaphors (Obama talked turkey about the debt crises, so Baynor** called him a “puddin’head” – actual words, after careful deconstruction/reconstruction of speech content*) I did some passive research. Wyoming radio reported that Pepsi, while not quite Soylent Green, is channeling Doctor Mengele via Semonyx Corporation for their taste research. Semonyx slices and dices what it needs from HEK293, aka human embryonic kidney cell 293, originally obtained in 1973 from an aborted fetus (generously donated). They then subject the franken-cell to endless taste tests. But HEK293 is not a part of Pepsi’s secret recipe, ergo Soylent Green isn’t Pepsi.
But Fetal ghosts, in the form of several vaccines you probably stood in line to get, almost certainly course through your blood stream. Yup, about six of the biggies. About the same process as described above, near as I’m willing to understand. The barn door on that practice was closed in the seventies. Except for stem cell research. Courtesy of nih.gov:
On August 9th, 2001, Former President George W. Bush announced that federal funds may be awarded for research using human embryonic stem cells if the following criteria are met:
The derivation process (which begins with the destruction of the embryo) was initiated prior to 9:00 P.M. EDT on August 9, 2001.
The stem cells must have been derived from an embryo that was created for reproductive purposes and was no longer needed.
Informed consent must have been obtained for the donation of the embryo and that donation must not have involved financial inducements.
Very forward thinking of President Bush. Wouldn’t want an embryo created for destructive purposes. “Take your jihadii embryos elsewhere, thank you very much.” But in 2009, President Obama's executive order countermanded President Bush’s executive order. So, brace yourselves for an onslaught of exploding embryos. I jest only ‘cause I’m not sure where to stand on this slippery slope.
Oh, yeah the budget crises. It looks like our elected officials are going to cede our economic sovereignty to China. So, we must swallow our Soylent Green, like it or not. David Bowie/Iggy Popp saw this coming back in the eighties, and offered these reassuring words: and when I get excited, my little China Girl says, 'oh baby, just you shut your mouth.’ She says, shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
* “Dealing with the President is like dealing with a bowl of jello.”
** I realize he spells his name in a phonetically irresponsible way, I just refuse to condone it (hypocritical, but so what).